Classic ‘Lou Grant’ lines

Thanks to Hulu, you can go online anytime to watch the best portrayal of a newsroom in the history of film and television. The writers of “Lou Grant” absolutely nailed the nuances of newspaper journalism, and the writing, 30 years later, holds up incredibly well.

Unfortunately, my renewed enthusiasm for the show means you’re going to have to endure a post or two quoting some of its better lines.

Apologies in advance.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Animal, showing off his radio setup: I can get police, fire, highway patrol, FBI, forestry ...

Rossi: How about Linda Ronstadt?

Lou (on the phone): “I don’t care what you write about as long as it’s not what we write about. Now I have a murder story to cover and I’m sending a reporter to do it, so you can tell your girl to come on home.

Features Editor: Aw, look. To begin with, she’s not my girl, she’s a reporter, as much a reporter as anyone on your side.

Lou: Some other time, OK? I’ve got a paper to put out.

Features Editor: Oh, really? And what do you think we do here?

Lou: I have no idea. I’ve never been in a henhouse! (Hangs up).

Lou has just spent $5,000 of the Tribune’s money chasing a story that turned out to be a hoax. At the afternoon budget meeting, he suggests writing a story detailing how the paper was snookered. His fellow editors aren’t going for it. But the publisher, Mrs. Pynchon, has the final say.

Mrs. Pynchon: Run your story, Mr. Grant. And at the Tribune, we insist on accuracy. Be sure you make yourself look like a complete ass.

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Lou: A think piece? You just want to sit down and do some writin’, don’t you Rossi, hmmm? You don’t want to report — you want to show us how many words you know.